Over the years I have written many articles, and tried every possible angle to educate, inspire, enlighten and reassure. Almost every theme has been explored in one way or another. For this article, I contemplated what I could share that would crystalise the essence of the accumulated advice and guidance given. As always, I come back to my own experience to see what has been the most helpful, transformative and beneficial for me.
If there is one theme, one message that has consistently brought me back to a feeling of unity and connection with Life, it is this: that Life is benevolent and is seeking to express its benevolence through us.
It’s easy to think about it, it’s harder to believe it and live from that knowingness, especially when our experience seems to suggest otherwise. The real practice has always been about trusting Existence – really believing that it is wholly good, beautiful – and more importantly, on our side. Then we feel comfortable enough to let it radiate through our being unhindered. And yet, in all my years teaching thousands of people, this is the internal shift that human beings have the most resistance to and difficulty with.
We can (and should) hone our skills and abilities to manage energy and navigate our experience. But this alone will not produce the deep connection we are looking for (although it will make us a disciplined, organised, co-ordinated practitioner). The difference between those who diligently walk the path without ever ‘arriving’ and those who reside in grace, lies in the willingness to deeply accept one’s own being as the source of all goodness; an eternal font of love and light. So, the path of soul evolution is one of believing, allowing and expressing our true nature, rather than try to improve or fix oneself.
As children we do this very naturally. We don’t think about how to let go and have fun, we just do it. We don’t hold back from action, second guessing ourselves, we act spontaneously. We don’t hide certain aspects of ourselves and promote other aspects, we just show up as we are. So this ability to be one’s true self doesn’t have to be learned - it’s already woven into who we are.
As we grow up, we acquire a kind of second being – the false self / the created self / the illusory self. It is created by the assumptions we make about who we are. It’s the product of all our attempts to fit in, to please those around us, to get life ‘right’. It is also an attempt to secure ourselves and reality inside a known narrative to give the appearance of solidity, continuity and independent existence.
Consider of the perceptions of self you carry within you, that you’ve fashioned out of all your life experiences. Some of those experiences were fleeting and yet influenced you so deeply that you went ahead and formed a conclusion about who you are. And that conclusion determines your perception of self to this day. Now multiply that by the number of impactful life experiences we’ve had, and you can see how we weave a comprehensive story about self, that then becomes the lens through which we view ourselves (and require others to view us). However, the created self stands in contrast to the natural self, the true self. Walking through life as the created self is not comfortable or rewarding. It’s always a limited (and therefore restrictive) version of self. Sooner or later we become dissatisfied with this version of ourselves, but stepping out of it is not so easy. After using it for so long as our costume to face the world, when we try to relinquish the false self, we find our identity has become enmeshed with it, and we end up feeling trapped by our own creation. We stop short of dissolving the created self because it entails dissolving the very identity we have worked so hard to foster.
Almost all human beings on Earth are living within the created self. It’s staggering when you consider this. Almost none of us are freely expressing our true self. Almost none of us are continuously content, peaceful and loving. No wonder we have the levels of dissatisfaction and strife that we do. And yet the created self is called the false self because its perceptions, assumptions and conclusion about self are never accurate.
This is why it is so important to have a point of truth to come back to, to hold onto, to orientate around – a place where we all meet. Trusting in the benevolence of the life source that animates us can be that meeting place. If we believe that is the case, it challenges all the assumptions of the created self around lack, faultiness, wrongdoing. And that is why it’s such a helpful practice to orientate yourself to. “I am not good enough” and “I am good enough” can’t both be accurate. We have to decide which one we’re going with.
Let’s consider some common perceptions of the created self that get overturned by believing in and trusting the nature of our true self.
The Created SelfThe True SelfI need to fix, improve, eliminate somethingI already contain the essence of wholeness (nothing to add or take away)I have a track record of unacceptable thoughts/decisions/speech/actionsI realise that my previously unwise thoughts/decisions/speech/actions come from misunderstanding my true natureI need someone/something to change on the outside in order to be happyHappiness is the natural product of experiencing my true natureSomeone/something is to blameI am responsible for myselfI am afraid of threat/judgement/punishment for being who I am (who I believe the created self to be)I am love/loved/loveable precisely because of who I truly amI believe the story of who I amI know the truth of who I amI am (partially/fundamentally) badI am (wholly/unequivocally) goodness.
Why is it so hard for us to believe that we are made from goodness? It’s true that we don’t see much evidence of it around us. And many, many people use this as an excuse, a justification for not attending to their inner world. But we have to remember that the world around us is expressing our inner world, not the other way round. If we were to radically change our inner orientation, the world around us would reflect that back too. Where then do we turn for encouragement if we want to make this shift (for many people do indeed believe in the goodness of source theoretically, but have difficulty actualising it)?
We have to turn within. That’s the only place we will find it. But you see the conundrum…asking you to turn inside to….what?….the very landscape that currently expresses the created (false) self! And that is why we falter. As we turn within, we are presented with not only a false self, but false perceptions, false thoughts, false feelings, false assumptions, false conclusions, false beliefs - a false paradigm. You can see why we don’t have higher numbers of enlightened beings on Earth.
As we turn within, we have to look through the appearance (expression) of this self to the energy which we have used to create and maintain it. Fortunately this energy, while allowing itself to be used to create whatever we have chosen, also retains its original nature / essence and is available to our conscious perception if we look to it. You see, we have to know it’s there and look for it. It’s hiding in plain sight. From then on, it’s a matter of acknowledging, accepting, trusting that this is who and what we are. This creates the foundation of belief (which develops into conviction then absolute knowingness). When we believe, our consciousness connects directly into the nature of that energy which releases it into our experience. Then we see, feel, know the truth of it. That we are made from an energy source that is, in essence, expansion (power), harmony (love) and light (wisdom). And our beingness, far from being an impediment to experiencing this truth, is actually designed to radiate and express this on every level, including the physical body. Then we know for ourselves that Life is benevolent and is seeking to express its benevolence through us.
Image Credit: Dan Leak Photography @ https://www.heartofplace.com